You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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