so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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