I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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