Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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