Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
