There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
