i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
