I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize