I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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