I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
