I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
