btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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