have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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