So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
