piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
