if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
