I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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