the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the day after is always just damage control
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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