WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize