this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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