somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
