Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Success! We fucked roommates!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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