just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
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