next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
