cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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