you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
