what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I would fuck him just for his dog
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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