marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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