Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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