Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
