I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Bring me that man meat
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
