just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Terrible idea I love it
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
