I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
