yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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