there's paper in my vomit.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
