the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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