Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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