He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
