to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
