I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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