he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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