I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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