he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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