You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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