He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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