I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize