he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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