it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
