Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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