Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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