apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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