woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
