Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's Friday. Sex?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
