the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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