Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
