Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
God I need to hump something, right now.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
