so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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