I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
