i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
