both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
