dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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