Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
